Last words, Final Confessions
by Trekklokian
Summary: Jims dying wish is to make his final confession to Spock. (Still so bad at summaries) Oneshot.


A/N: Long time no see, eh? I am Sorry for not uploading anything for ages, but prelims are coming up and ive had so much studying to do. I havent had much time to write so I had a few free hours and wrote this quick one shot. I have been working on the drabbles I promised but they wont be up until after exams. I'll try to get a few more one shots in betwen now and may though.

I was inspired by Cancer by My Chemical Romance so here it is, I hope you enjoy.

-Trekklokian.

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Everything hurt. It hurt to move, it hurt to talk, it hurt to breathe... it hurt to just exist anymore. Jim looked throught the glass door of the Enterprise's warp core and up into Spocks big brown doe-like eyes. If he had to die now, if this really was a no win scenario then he wanted to be looking into those warm, hazel eyes that reminded him of happy memories, of days long gone that he had only minutes left to recollect and cherish. Then it dawned on him. He had only minutes left. Only minutes to fufil his dying wish, and those precious minutes were disappearing quickly. But he had to stay strong, he had to maintain what was left of his reputation, Right? He couldnt ruin it all by crying.

"I want you to know why I couldnt let you die..." Jim barely managed to wheeze out the partially slurred words. God it hurt to talk. He was starting to struggle to breathe, but he had to explain this to Spock. He had to make Spock understand.

"..Why I went back for you..." Jim was starting to feel the life draining out of himself. His mind was becoming foggier and he was really struggling not to cry now. He couldnt cry, not yet. It would take up more energy.

Spock looked down at Jim, so much emotion showing through his facial features, betraying everything he stood for as a Vulcan. His eyes glisened with tears as he took in the sight of the life slowly fading out of the man who he considered to be his best friend.

"Because you are my friend..?" Spocks voice was raw with emotion and it cut right through Jim's heart, but what hurt more, even more than the radiation poisoning flowing through his blood, was that Spock didnt know just who much he meant to Jim, and he had only minutes left to make him understand.

Jim couldnt stop the tears rolling down his cheeks as he looked up at Spock for the last time. He had to tell him, this truly was his last chance, but the hard part wasnt telling him, the hard part was going to be leaving him.

"Because.. because I am in love with you Spock.." Jim drew in a breath and then opened his mouth once more to try to ellaborate, but words failed him and all that escaped his lips was a sob. He looked up at Spock and almost regretted the words. He'd known for quite a while now that he had a crush on his first officer, and almost loosing him to that volcano made Jim realise that he had to do something about it. That he had to tell him before it was too late. The only problem was, it seemed although even now it was too late.

"Jim.. I... I love you too Jim." A very faint, small smile played on the corners of Spock's lips as he looked down at Jim. He would have thought spock looked happy with his confession has it not been for the tears rolling down his slightly green blushed cheeks. In that moment Jim would have given everything to be able to say two last words to spock; 'good bye'. But it seemed that, in his last few moments of life he had nothing else to give.

Struggling for breath and every movement of any muscle causing agony Jim barely managed to lift his hand up and rest it against the glass as he stared into spocks dark brown eyes. His vision was deteriorating quickly but he was only just able to make out Spock's hand pressed against the glass in a Ta'al before he lost his sight completely.

Trapped in the darkness and unable to say anything to give Spock closure the life drained out of him slowly and painfully and the last thing he felt was his hand slowly slipping down the gass as he left the world forever.

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Well, I hope you enjoyed and please fave or review. If i get positive feedback, i may write this from Spock's POV or maybe even a follow up. Have a nice day.


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